i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
