I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
