I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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