think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
