She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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