I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
