Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize