Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
