Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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