i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize