She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
They took my balls.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
