Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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