I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He better not be in your backpack
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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