Well douche your snatch and let's go!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize