i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
