I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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