I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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