Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
