I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
