Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Life is so much better after having sex.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
