Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
