Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
