You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
