The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize