I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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