it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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