Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
