Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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