i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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