What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
