Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
