when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize