Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
