Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
