oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize