Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
