i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
