Me. At least after what I've been through.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
