No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
