I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
