Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
