they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
