they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
