i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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