Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
