I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
