All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
