she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
