I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
