i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
