Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
