We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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