lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize