i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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