I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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