You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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