I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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