You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize