Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Boobs speak an international language.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Randomize
